For most of my life, I just assumed I’d have kids. I never really questioned it—until I did.
It’s 2024, and having children or not is the big, messy, beautiful, loaded topic my husband and I kept circling back to.
If you’d asked me ten years ago, of course I was going to have children. I mean—I’m a woman. I’m great with kids. I’m a teacher. That’s what I always assumed I’d do.
But at some point, things started to feel… off. There was this quiet pressure to do it all. I was building my coaching business, teaching full-time, trying to take care of my body, deepening my relationship with myself and my (then future) husband. And underneath it all, I was stuck in this exhausting mental loop of what ifs. I was terrified of making the “wrong” choice.
I’d say I wanted kids—and I meant it—but the truth? It stressed me out trying to picture where children would fit into the future I was envisioning. My mind spiralled with overthinking and self-doubt.
So I did what I know how to do. I pulled out all the coaching tools I’ve learned and gave myself permission to get really honest. What came through was clarity—so much clarity. It felt light. Freeing.
As a Coach and Growth Facilitator, I’d been clear on my values for a long time. However I’m also only human and when life got busy it all seemed so hard and confusing. When I slowed down and gave myself the stillness and space to truly listen, I could finally see how I could live fully in alignment with them—without becoming a mum.
Living without regret is really important to me—and I know that aligning my actions with my values is the surest way to do that.
I’d be lying if I said I never think about it. We both do.
We’ve agreed to keep checking in with each other, making sure we’re still aligned. As people and their values can change. And—because it seems to be a hot topic at dinner parties lately—we often find ourselves justifying our decision to others.
But even with those conversations and check-ins, my heart feels full and my mind calm.
Because this wasn’t a decision made out of fear or self-doubt. It was a decision made from knowing. I know who I am. I know what matters to me. I have a clear vision for the kind of life I want to live—and I’m living it.
And while no choice comes with guarantees, I know this: I’ve made this decision from a place of alignment and self-trust. That reduces the chance of regret—because I understand why I’ve chosen this, here and now.
At the end of the day, that’s all any of us can do: make the choice that feels most true in this moment, and trust ourselves to handle whatever comes next.
I wanted to share this because I know I’m not the only one quietly asking this question right now:
“What if I don’t want kids?”“Will I regret it later?” “Can I choose not to have children and still live a meaningful life?”
As a 36-year-old woman in 2025, I feel like more and more of us are giving ourselves permission to actually ask these questions—without shame, without defaulting to what’s expected.
And I want to say this clearly: I fully recognise that the journey to and through parenthood can be incredibly complex—and for some, deeply painful. Choosing to have children, struggling to conceive, choosing not to have children… none of it is simple. This is just my experience and my path, and I share it with deep respect for the many stories others carry.
So if you’re navigating the question of whether or not to have children—whether out loud or just in your own head—please know you’re not alone.
There’s no “right” way to do life. There’s just your way.
And when your decisions are rooted in your values—not pressure or overthinking—it gets to feel peaceful… even if it doesn’t look like everyone else’s.
Here’s to a future filled with adventure, connection, creativity, presence, and joy—or whatever values feel true to you.
You’ve got this,
Bridie
**If you’re craving clarity and want to move forward without the worry of regret, book a free Clarity Coaching Call. We’ll explore where you’re at, what you need, and whether coaching is the right next step for you.
