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How to Set Boundaries – For Women Who Don’t Like Conflict

Healthy boundaries are the limits you place around your time, emotions, physical and mental healthy so you can stay content with who you are, experience higher levels of self-worth and confidence and to nurture relationships.

Without clear boundaries we can become lost, resentful and burnt out with work, social obligations and relationships. If you are experiencing increased feelings of stress or frustration check out these three steps.  

1. Get clear on the personal boundary that is being crossed. 
What exactly is it that is depleting your energy or increasing stress and frustration.
What one small change you can implement that would have the biggest positive change for your wellbeing?

2. Communicate your boundary
I know… this can be easy to think about and hard to do. However people can not read your beautiful mind. Who do you need to share this boundary with?  There are many ways to communicate your boundary, so find a way that feels right for you.

Remember, boundaries are kind. You are taking out the guess work for others and showing them how you need to be treated.
One framework can be: I feel____when___because___. What I need at the moment is____.

Another way is to state your boundary, but do so in a way that also validates the other persons needs.
Eg. It makes me uncomfortable to be around you when you argue around me and if it continues I’m going to head home.  However I do like spending time with you. Can you tell me about your last holiday?

3. Prepare for pushback
People don’t love change – especially change they aren’t in control of. Not everyone is going to understand your need for your boundary or like you putting it in place.

This is OK.

It is not up to you how they will respond. You can not control this.
Give them time to adjust.
Be clear on your WHY – why are you putting this boundary in place? Why is it important for you? What might happen if you don’t?
Trust your decision making. If you choose to prioritise their needs over your own, you are starting an internal battle that will stay with you until you choose YOU.

If you know that something needs to change in your life, but are not clear on what that change should be or how to implement it, get in touch and book in a 30 minute complementary Clarity Session. In this session you will get crystal clear on the direction that feels perfect for you, so you can take your next step with confidence.

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